End of Year 2010 Thoughts

I take a walk almost every night and comtemplate thoughts about life, my purpose, my relationship to family and friends. I must say, I am perplexed at times at what life is mirroring back to me and the choices that I continue to make concerning the circumstances in my life. I do have to remind myself that I have much to be grateful for and I appreciate the smallest things in my life. I praise God for bringing me to the place that I am currently at. As I look over the years, I have grown so much and come through many trials and tribulations. One thought stands out in my mind. At times, I play a game with myself and I say well...how much worse could it be...I have thought about many, many things that could be worse then the current circumstances that we are in today. My own personal trial would be loosing a child--that would be the worst thing that I could ever bear. As I mediated on that thought...God opened up a whole new way of thinking for me. Essentially, God does only give us as much as we can bear and our trials are for our growth--somehow their is a reason for us to learn from this lesson or to face into this trial. None of us are on the same path...I don't believe, we all have our particular weaknesses and strengths and things that we want to get out of this life. When I realized this...I stopped comparing myself with others around me, I stopped feeling jealous, envious and filled with self pity and realized that the sooner i understand and face into these trials and not run away from them the sooner I will grow spiritually and open myself up to a greater and deeper holy spirit within me. I believe my lessons today are to learn compassion, unconditional love, long suffering & patience and to learn to live a more simpler, content life at peace with the person I have become. A wise old china man once said "We Americans are always running after the riches of this world forgetting that all the riches we will need are within us" And that success is not how rich we are but rather how at peace and content we have become with what we have. I think about that ancient chinese proverb often and I try not to follow after the riches of this world but seek the heavenly gifts. Wisdom, Joy, Love, Patience, Peace, Hope, Faith--Because really these are the greatest gifts a person can possess.